Save Your Relationship

Now picture this, you are in a lovely relationship with the man of your dreams! He is everything you ever hoped for and so much more. He listens to you, gives you gifts in copious amounts and even seems to know to look after needs you never knew you had!

Spending time with him seems to melt all your troubles away. He helps you focus on the positives in your life and thus makes all the negative feel absolutely tiny in comparison; to put it simply this man gets you and he makes your life so much brighter and better.

However as time goes on, life happens. You get increasingly busy at work and now that you have kids you hardly have time to even check in. Engaging in conversation with him has become a thing of the past; when you do talk it’s to let him know that the bills are due or that there is a problem he needs to attend to.

The change is very notable and you have placed all the blame on him claiming that he is not putting in the effort, he is no longer paying as doting attention to you as he use to and he really ought to be more understanding of the pressures on your plate. With time things just don’t get better until it’s now turned into a speedy good morning in the morning, a brief acknowledgement that food is ready and if lucky a little chat before bed. A much longer one if you  are frustrated and need room to vent.

Is this a relationship that can flourish? What happened to the days where he seemed to be able to meet all your needs. Might it be due to the fact you were better connected, more in tune with him ?

Whatever your take is on the scenario, you can certainly agree that this is what a lot of our relationship with God looks like. The lack of communication in this scenario can be likened to our lack of prayer. It can become something we just no longer have time for. When we were seeking the big career break, seeking the husband, seeking the kids we had all the time in the world to spend it asking God to intervene and let a miracle take place. However; once we start ticking off our wants off the list we no longer turn to God with the same passion we use to. Some of us can afford a 5 minute morning devotion a couple times a week, which we justify as a major plus. Surely God understands mornings are incredibly busy. At night a quick prayer will do because it’s been a long day and sleep is calling. Would this be enough for you in your relationship with your significant other? If your answer is no, then I can assure you it’s certainly a big no for God too.

Why is prayer so important? Well, prayer is communication between us and our maker. It provides clarity, direction, answers and solutions. Prayer makes you feel safe from all the chaos in the world and the disarray around you.Prayer provide focus and makes us feel reenergised. Prayer pulls down miracles that your lifetime of effort can never achieve.

If this is the case, then why do we spend such minimal time on it? Why are we so full of excuses when it comes to prayer? We are happy to spend hours on end on the phone talking, chatting, browsing but investing that same time to secure our lives and future suddenly seems like far too much work.

This is of course until we run into some form of trouble and need help then all of a sudden God takes centre focus once again … well until we get our answer or solution. In any earthly relationship where one party treated the other in this manner, that person would be told to leave that toxic relationship behind! However, because we have such a loving and compassionate father who is always willing to embrace us time and time again we have a tendency to take advantage of that, and not apply the same urgency in making the required change – we are the ones propagate the toxicity in our relationship with God.

The same way you invest hours of your time nurturing a new relationship, feeling butterflies in your tummy every time you see a text from him or see his name flash on your phone it is the same way you must be eager to speak to God.

Just remember that a prayerful life benefits you far more than it benefits God! Yes God desires time with you, yes He desires your full attention; but yet it is us who need His protection, His solutions, His loving kindness, His grace and so much more in our lives.

If you are struggling to commit to a life of prayer remember it does not have to be this strange protocol filled activity. It does not demand you to be in a specific setting adorning very specific items. It is simply you communicating with your lover, father and friend it can happen anytime any place.

Taking a shower? Pray!

On your way to work? Pray!

At your desk? Pray!

Picking up the kids from school? Pray!

Cooking dinner? Pray!

On vacation? Pray!

On the potty? Pray!

Before a meeting? Pray!

Basically at all times, any time pray!

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About Belinda

Belinda Boadu is the founder of the Atana Enterprise and Foundation comprising Atana Women, Atana Mums Atana Women’s Hive and Atana Men’s Hub. She is also the Managing Director of Impart & Impact a consulting firm providing services in business, career and education. She lives in both Ghana and the UK and has a loving husband and two beautiful and brilliant children, a son and a daughter.