“Breath in, breath out! Breath in breath out…
My goodness is that how to even breath… ? I feel like I’m breathing weird… is this normal…? why are my palms so sweaty? Why is my heart beating so fast?
Oh goodness just calm your mind woman! I am obviously over reacting! There is nothing to worry about… or is there…
What if they tell me the worst? What if it’s nothing? Ok what if it’s EVERYTHING!!! What if…, what if…., what if…Ok just breath …aahhh.”
Lina just get a grip of yourself!
You will be fine … or will I?
Line wriggles uncomfortably on her chair. She looks around nervously. She reads the sign on the wall for the 50th time: breast imaging unit.
“Do they make you wait this long deliberately? Is it all a ploy to get you to suffer death by worry… ?”
Lina looks around again a sea of other nervous women are dotted around her.
A few weeks ago Lina was going through her routine breast self-check in the shower it had become such a mundane part of her monthly routine. She was about to end the rushed check when suddenly she felt something she hadn’t felt before.. She squeezed again moved her hand a little to the left and did it again.
“Hmmm that’s very obviously a clumpy mass that was not there before…” Lina thinks to herself. The discovery washed Lina with a sick feeling in her stomach but she scuffed it off. “I’m probably just overthinking this I’ll get Ayo to check it later.”
That evening she asked her husband Ayo to have a feel too.
“can you feel that over there?”
Ayo closes his eyes and smiles; “I can feel, now I want to touch, lay on it and kiss it!” he says in his aroused voice.
“Ayo! Stop it, I’m serious! Just be serious for a second and feel this section here.”
“Ok, ok.” Ayo whispered whilst sitting up properly and taking a more serious stance. “Umm, so here you said?” Ayo asked “yeah I can definitely feel a weird lumpy thing, … is that normal?”
“I don’t know…” Lina mutters.
“You better get that checked out by the doc.”
Yeah I’ll book an appointment. Lina replies
When Lina went to see her doctor, she performed a breast exam.
“Yeah that does feel like there is a little mass there. The only way to have a clearer picture of what it could be is to refer you to the breast specialist for a more thorough check they can then better ascertain what is going on.”
“What could this mean doc? …Could it be serious?” Lina asks anxiously.
“There is really no way to tell for now. The best thing to do is to have it all checked out by the breast specialist care unit at the hospital; then we can take it from there.” Her doctor expressed.
2 weeks later Lina finds herself at the breast specialist department where she is awaiting her ultrasound test.
After 1 hour and 30 mins of anguished waiting she hears:
“Lina Asre?!”
“Yes…” Lina replies nervously .
“Please follow me!”
They enter the examination room where Lina is asked to undress her top half.
“Please lie down over here. I’m going to apply this gel onto your breast. It will likely feel cold.”the Sonographer says gently.
Lina whispers a soft “ok…”
“Just relax” says the Sonographer; zen”we will be done in very soon.”
Lina lies down and takes a deep shaky breath… “The rest of my life and health hinges on what the Sonographer says next.” She thinks to herself.
She feels her whole body stiffen as the grainy black and white image of the inside of her breast displays on the screen. The Sonographer wiggles the transducer around a little on her breast then says: “This all looks very clear.” Another wiggle to the left and she says: “Yes, nothing of concern here at all.” Lina can feel the hot tear flowing down the side of her face from the sheer relief. The Sonographer smiles at her understanding perfect the anguish Lina had been feeling.
“Continue to keep an eye out.” she explains to Lina. “If there are any changes be sure to come and see us again. But for now there is nothing to worry about. Sometimes women do develop random tissue growth and that seems to be the case on this occasion.”
“Thank you, thank you so much” Lina says with new found confidence in her voice. After dressing up again she leaves the hospital with a spring in her steps. She reaches for her mobile phone in her bag.
“Hello Ayo! I’m fine it was nothing… I’m so relieved!”
“That’s great news!” Ayo replies.
“I knew you would be fine but of course it was important to get it checked.”
“Yes yes” Lina chimes in.
“I fully agree with you!”
“Listen Lina I’m taking you out for dinner tonight to celebrate. The outcome could have been very different but we thank God you came out the other side with a clean bill of health we must celebrate!”
“Yes!”Lina exclaims.
And breath!
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About Belinda
Belinda Boadu is the founder of the Atana Enterprise and Foundation comprising Atana Women, Atana Mums Atana Women’s Hive and Atana Men’s Hub. She is also the Managing Director of Impart & Impact a consulting firm providing services in business, career and education. She lives in both Ghana and the UK and has a loving husband and two beautiful and brilliant children, a son.
